One of the greatest human needs is to feel connected to others which can relate to an intimate relationship with the opposite sex or the same, based on one’ s sexual preference and also to family and friends. To share who one is and also to be involved in the sharing of one more, plays a vital role in our wellbeing.
Without the deep sharing of who one is with other people, life can be lonely and feel vacant. And like most things in life which are meaningful, to experience deep connections along with others can take time. This is because trust needs to be formed and this is not something that can be rushed or forced to occur.
There is the possibility that the deeper connection can form sooner, yet this will depend on how open individuals are and now much of a connection there is. One can meet someone and the connection is there more or less instantly. And with other people, this can be a gradual process.
So in order for this deeper connection to form, one particular will need to be vulnerable and the other individual will need to mirror this behaviour at some point. If one person becomes vulnerable as well as the other person doesn’ t mirror the behaviour at first, it might not have to get a problem.
But if they will don’ t become vulnerable at any time in the relationship, then the chance for a deeper connection to form will not occur. There will be no growth made as well as the relationship could stay as it is, or it could come to an end.
For if one person has the have to connect and the other person does not, one could move away and place their own time and attention on one more relationship that is has the potential to become fulfilling.
While the need to connect significantly with other people can be there, there are fears that can get in the way of this taking place. And if these are strong enough, they will cease one from achieving a much deeper connection with others.
What they truly need to experience is then replaced with what is not fulfilling. Here, one could have relationship with other people that are superficial in nature. They may call these people friends or someone their partner, but there is very little depth involved.
In a conscious level this person may also complain to themselves and others that will no one is there for them. But the reason they are not experiencing deeper connections is because of their own inner blocks and the discord that is going on internally.
Whenever one is vulnerable, they are open about their lives, how they feel and how they don’ t feel and their challenges and achievements for instance. This is what allows a relationship to be real plus fulfilling. If there is only an trade of what one did or didn’ t do that day, their own plans for the weekend or what other people are doing, then this can’ t take place.
It is important that on shares who they are and what is vital, is that one listens to what the other person has to say. And this should be done without judgment, blame or recommendations of what they should or shouldn’ t do. To do this can create a mother or father child relationship, instead of an adult to adult relationship.
As once one particular knows that the other person will listen to all of them, they will feel safe with the individual and trust will be a natural outcome. Being open will then feel normal and natural.
Therefore instead of thinking about what they can or can’ t reveal, they will understand that they can reveal all of what they are encountering in life. This means that one is authentic, as they are not putting on an act simply to please another and to displease on their own in the process.
What Will get In The Way?
When one particular fears being vulnerable, they are not likely to create relationships that will encourage them to be vulnerable. This person will feel attracted to people who are in the same place plus who avoid revealing anything too deep.
They may talk about ‘ acceptable things’ and one might connect at this level. But there is likely to be the feeling that one doesn’ t really know the other person and so they don’ t really know who they actually are.
On one level this may appease their own fears of being vulnerable, but it won’ t remove the need to be vulnerable. And the pain that this creates will not simply go away. This pain could be channelled into some kind of addiction or get away.
There might be the urge to have more friends to cover this inner emptiness up or to engage in many of sexual encounters. workaholism may take over their life or they may become consumed in different social clubs or some kind of charity work.
To be vulnerable means that one is at risk; exactly what one shares with another might be used against them. And while this really is true, it is part of being vulnerable. Being vulnerable means that one can shed so much and yet it also means that you can gain so much.
Within matters of the heart like these, one has to be discerning; discerning with exactly who they open up to and in exactly who they don’ t open up to.
And with experience, one will obtain a better understanding in who they can and who they cannot open up to. If this is a real challenge for someone, it could be due to certain feelings that have built up within. These can cause someone to feel extremely vulnerable and away from balance.
In this instance, it could be necessary to see some kind of therapist or healer to release the feelings and emotions that have accumulated over one’ h life. Reading books, taking courses or receiving coaching can also aid one in opening up more and towards the right people.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His informative commentary and analysis covers all of the aspects of human transformation; love, relationship, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound help. Current projects include “ The Dialogue With The Heart” and “ Communication Made Easy. ”